I auditioned for The Biggest Loser, as you know. I also received a coveted “call back”…kind of. Holland called me on my way home from the audition, but I missed the call because I had spotty cell service. Funny, only because I LITERALLY kept my phone in my hand the ENTIRE drive home. Which, by the way, St Louis is NOT 3 hours away, like I was told. It was 5. I’m just saying. So while I prayed the entire way home for a call back – and then saw on twitter and Facebook that all of the call backs were made I walked in the door, threw my stuff down, decided that I was NOT going to cry. Daddy hugged me and he went home too…both of us disappointed. I went to bed and checked my voice mail one last time juuuust in case. Nothing. At all. Tossed my phone down and didn’t even bother plugging it in because I was just…sad. The next morning- Sunday- when I woke up I plugged in my dead phone and it immediately showed a voice mail. I thought “That’s mama, making sure we made it back ok. I’ll check it and call her after I do some laundry since it’s early.” So I did my laundry…and then I checked my voicemail. You can imagine my surprise when I heard the angelic (yes, I just said angelic) voice of Holland “Master Caster” Weathers. I knew when I heard “Heeey, Kailey” who it was. I immediately started shaking. HOLLAND FREAKING WEATHERS CALLED ME! I had to play the message again only because I didn’t believe what that it was real. She asked me if I had any potential partners, and said she would get back to me. Ok-picture this- I am in my pajamas, it is about 7:45 on a SUNDAY morning, everybody in my house is sleeping, and I just start SCREAMING with excitement. I couldn’t help myself…its like the sounds just came out and I had NO control over my own voice. Weird, right? So everybody in my house wakes up going “What is wrong?” My kids start jumping up and down when I tell them that Ms. Holland called mommy. Yes, they know who she is! We kind of pray for the biggest loser. :-/ I explain to Derek what she said and HE says “Did she ask you for an interview?” Well crap. Nope she didn’t. This is why I say a “kinda call back.” I immediately called daddy since he has been my biggest supporter and he was dressed and at my house ready to go back to St Louis “just in case” in less than an hour. Bless his heart. Later after I didn’t hear back from her he said “KK, Are you SURE that was Holland that called you and not somebody that knew you were auditioning playing a trick on you?” I had to reassure him that I had watched enough of the casting tips videos to know her voice and that no one was that mean. I actually didn’t even hear anything back from her until a few days later when she asked for a video. So sent in my video…have a few views. I actually emailed to ask if it worked because I thought maybe it didn’t work because it looked like it had been viewed a few times…but I’m new to YouTube so I didn’t know for sure. Right after I sent the email….like 10 minutes later the Biggest Loser casting page ( @BLCASTINGTEAM) tweeted something along the lines of they are busy and please don’t email. GULP. I’m an idiot. A desperate, praying, big fat idiot. I felt HORRIBLE and immediately tweeted Holland that I was guilty and very sorry. I hope she forgave me. HA! That was two weeks ago-ish. So NOW I’ve been hearing about other people receiving requests for Dr Notes, and stuff so I’ve come to the conclusion that I have been passed on. I’m like 99% positive. Boo. I would be perfect for the biggest loser. I trust though that it means that someone out there needed Biggest Loser more than I do and that they were just a better fit. Still heartbroken. Still praying..as are my prayer warriors…”just in case.” This process has been an emotional rollercoaster….only because I felt like the steps leading TO the audition were laid out perfectly and even before I decided to try for BL I felt like somewhere in my journey there is a lesson for me and others. Like…my story has happened for a reason bigger than I can grasp at this point. I guess I was wrong…Sucks too, because I just have this feeling that I am supposed to do something good with my weight loss journey. Something positive. WHAT THE HELL IS IT?
I decided just to do it. Just start losing the weight and to get moving. THIS is a task with 2 kids under the age of 6, but I don’t care anymore. I’m getting it done. If I can take care of three kids and a Derek (haha) then I can lose weight, dang it! I’m down 34 pounds from a couple of months ago. Just little changes like Truvia and no regular milk. Yesterday I started making big changes. We will see what happens from here. I also walked this weekend and yesterday. Feels great but I REALLY want to PUSH myself. Hard. Where I wonder if I can make it through the workout. Who is this person begging to come out in me??
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